Tuesday, August 9, 2011

ET go home. Seriously, voetsek

Speaking to Boss as she prefers to be known. Apparently Madame Butterfly was too girly. The effects of too much Beyonce (pronounced Bee Yonkee) on Women's Day perhaps. Anyway, I was just saying that most Indian Muslim people while Mashallah'ring their way through inspirational lectures and conversations do hit the breaks and shriek when there is a convert/revert making advances towards their daughters/sons.

Which lead me to me believe that as a revert I am seen as an alien. You know, spaceman, imagine that coming down and wanting marry your offspring. Shriek!!! See how that happened. No control, it just happened. So I imagined coming to propose and the possible reaction.

"[Shriek] ET is coming for our daughter]

Apparently ET stands for Extra Tamil. Like Extra Hot except spicier.

So let me clear up some misconceptions about being a convert and why you don't need to fear us.

#1 Rumour
-We were sent by Israel to spy on what really happens.
No. Some of my best friends are Jewish :D

#2 Rumour
- We only convert because we want to capture your women.
Yes. Its true. When we left our planet, all our women had taken to leading careers and saying no to sex. We hear Muslim women are still submissive caught in the confusion of Indian cultural indoctrination and Muslimness. 2 Thumbs up.

#3 Rumour
-We only became Muslim so we could find out the difference between Akni and Biryani
Truth is I prefer biryani. The way my mama makes it.

#4 Rumour
- We don't actually become practicing Muslims. We just fuse Islam with our pagan former selves.
Ja, from what I understand, most Indian Muslims do it anyway.

#5 Rumour
-Tamils make blood curry and are over sexed.
Don't know about blood curry. Never seen it or had it for that matter.


*I made up these rumours. You can make up your own.

The Organ Harvester.

2 comments:

  1. Lol @ blood curry. Well, while I don't disagree with you completely, you have got to look at it from the fathers perspective. Yes, I know it's prejudiced and only the creator can determine what the status of an individuals faith is, as a muslim father, I imagine that it is his duty and concern to make sure that his daughter will marry a man who will enhance her in matters of religion as opposed to drawing her away. This should apply to reverts and born Muslims. Personally I've always felt that revert Muslims were sometimes stronger in faith given the fact that they CHOSE Islam. They weren't born to it and therefore wouldn't just practice on it because their parents do. This is of course a gross generalisation :)

    Anyway, I'm not much of an inspirations enthusiast myself and this applies to everything in general but I listen to some Islamic lectures because I enjoy acquiring knowledge and really, not all of them are them sound the same nor have the same content. Not one of us can say that we know it all, we have to admit sometimes that hey, he knows more. Where credit is due, it should be given, irrespective of personal sentiment. Besides, as good as books are, knowledge did not originate from one.

    PS: If this were Ancient Rome and I were a slave dealer, I'd have captured you ages ago and put all of that angst to good use in the arena :P

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  2. Angst? makes me sound like a teenager. Bleh!
    /grows the beard again.

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