Sunday, August 7, 2011

Looking for Mr/Miss Perfect

You have to check out these single females looking for Mr. Right, and single males looking for Miss Right. Muslim singles looking for that special someone. God Bless them, hope they all find happiness. But...

The Guys

Looking for: anything ranging from spouse (READ: Vagina to cuddle up with on cold nights) to 18-20 year old Hafizah. Now I was pretty mature at 18 or so my school reports used to say, but I did some pretty immature things. The most striking thing that catches me is the youth of those looking for spouses. Well there are some old timers looking for mothers and someone to look after them. I apparently didn't get the memo. Maybe I missed the marriage bus because I didn't pick up the cues. Like the guy who describes himself as quite pious who likes reading Quraan and watching TV. Hopefully not at the same time buddy.
The amount of religious propaganda in these bios makes me raise the Rock's eyebrow. I mean besides their professions, their activities which all sound the same, there is the standard "I am a pious guy." theme.
If an alien had to come to earth and try to learn our ways and read that he or she would definitely think that we were nothing more than functional idiots. But I will leave that for my conclusion.

The Ladies

Must be a professional, must be financially stable, must be able to look after me. I can bake. I am pious. I read this list and I realised all that was needed was an Islamic Banking Credit Card. OK so maybe that is a bit harsh. Also noticed the age of some of the contenders.

Let me say that I would probably not pass muster on any of these requirements. Not that I am looking. Just putting myself in the shoes of would be spouses looking for... spouses. For me it all seems a little cold, so clinical. Like everything you have achieved is purely for the purpose of making the product more desirable to a prospective. Kind of like buying a car. Comes with airbags, ABS, ample trunk space and light on fuel. Motorplan include for the first 3 years.

If I ever become to mechanical about something so personal and intimate like marriage then please find me, put a gun to my head and end my so called life. I am glad that I never had any pressure placed on me to get married. My mom still reminds me but there is no pressure to find a vagina for my penis. If that sounds gross I apologise but that is what is boils down to. Who cares about the person, its all about the event, the spectacle, ticking it off your to-do list, achieving the status and looking like a bunny in the headlights afterwards.

I look at those people desperate to find that person and I hope they find their passion and humanity for themselves. And I might sound judgmental but it sounds like they're looking for someone else to complete them rather than looking at what is right in front of them. Happiness is not in someone else's hands, happiness is your hands and you can decide what you want.

Maybe I don't get the cultural significance of pretending to be an adult or artificial status symbols. Hopefully one day when I get married, it will be because I want to marry the person, because I have every intention of sharing my life with the person in every possible way. Not just a vagina.


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